Thursday, July 25, 2013

words you never want to hear...and words you've been waiting to hear your whole life

It has been a really interesting month for me. I have heard some of the most devastating words a person can hear. I wish I had the words to express that feeling, the feelings I had when I got a phone call that said, "Jordan, you have cancer..." It was at that point where my world stopped for a minute. My thoughts were racing,
 "How could this be possible?"
 "I am getting married in 10 days?"
 "But the Doctor said that I was fine?"

When my head cleared I realized that the nurse was still talking about options, asking questions and waiting for my response. "Jordan, have you eaten anything today? I know you just had surgery a week ago, but can you come in in an hour to have another surgery to remove whatever cancer is left in your thyroid or neck?"

In a a second my brain went from a stand still to racing a million miles a minute. Another surgery, cancer, one hour, these words and phrases just circled inside me and my mouth somehow found the words, 

"I can be there in an hour."

The phone call was quickly ended so that she could finish making arrangements for me to come in to the hospital for this emergency surgery. I sat on my bed and sobbed. All alone I hugged my pillow thinking over and over again, 

I have cancer

Once I had composed myself I quickly made some phone calls to let my fiance' and family aware of what was going on. I was trying to find someone to be there for me when I woke up from my surgery this afternoon. After an hour that flew by like minutes I had my bag packed and was driving myself to the hospital, with surgical tape still on my neck from the previous surgery I had only seven days previous.  
After I had filled out all of the necessary paperwork and answered many questions I sat in a small room, with only my moo-moo like hospital gown and IV to keep me company. The minutes passed by while I waited. I was fortunate enough to have some dear friends and family call and talk to me while I waited. And my wonderful grandparents were able to drive all the way in to see me quickly before I walked myself into the surgery room.

The recovery has been rough yet everyday I felt stronger and more capable. I had to be strong, I had to be tough, I was going to be a bride very soon.

After a crazy week of preparations trying to catch up for all of the things for the wedding that I had not gotten done before the surgery, the big day was finally here.

I woke up incredibly early, I was too excited to sleep. I got up and quietly went outside to my car and drove around town for a while. It was crazy to think that through everything that my fiance' and I had been through our day was finally here, we were going to be married for time and all eternity. 

I drove back to the hotel where my family was staying and with the help of wonderful cousins began to get ready. After a slight  hiccup to the plan where I passed out because of low blood sugar and kneeling for too long, I was ready.

We drove to the temple and got dressed all in white for the most amazing experience. I was able to kneel across the alter from my sweetheart and hear the words

 "you are now husband and wife, kiss your bride."

 These words I had dreamed about for years were finally true. I was married to the most wonderful man that I know, not even having cancer could put a damper on the happiness that I felt.

Although this journey is far from over for me and soon will become more real as I travel to have radiation treatment in a few weeks, I must say that I am so blessed. I have a wonderful husband who has been my rock and has been there for everything. For my wonderful parents who have taken such good care of me while I recovered, and to the many family members and friends who have been praying for me.

 I am so grateful.


P.S. This song came on during our wedding reception, a song that my husband picked, what powerful words. Enjoy!

2 comments:

  1. Jordan Anderson. You inspire me.

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  2. Jo, you are the most amazing and inspiring woman!! I am proud to call you my friend! I sincerely hope that you are very happy, and that your cup is overflowing! Love you! Wish you all the best that eternity has to offer :)

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